Managing Mentoring Challenges

No matter how long you've been a mentor, there will be challenges and situations that are new to you. Consider the following tips on how to manage these situations.

Mentoring across differences: race, culture, gender, and generation:

• Make no assumptions:
  • Resist viewing each other as part of a category based on gender, race, age, or other characteristics.
• Have an open discussion about cultural differences:
  • Have a basic level of respect for differences and the value of understanding and appreciating differences.
  • After time, there may be sufficient comfort to discuss differences in gender, culture, and generation.
• Understand culturally different values:
  • Be willing to learn about your mentee's world and be open to his/her perspective.
• Publicly support the mentee:
  • Invite mentee as a colleague to meetings and events.
  • Introduce mentee to colleagues and peers.
  • Coach mentee in graceful self-promotion.

Maintaining effective communication and giving constructive feedback is key to establishing a good relationship with your mentee.

• Ask clear questions to understand the mentee's experience, assessment of the situation, and point of view.
• Use specific, non-judgmental, descriptive language:
  • Use "I" statements. Give examples from your experience.
  • Focuses on specific behaviors, areas for growth, development and enhancement.
• Acknowledge outside factors that may contribute.
• Reassure mentee strengths and assets.
• Ensure understanding by summarizing.
• Give the other person an opportunity to ask questions or share their viewpoint.
• Allow time and privacy for feedback.
• Avoid or minimize distractions, set aside an uninterrupted time for your feedback session.
• Try not to interrupt when the other person is responding.
• Ask questions that will lead to self-reflection:
  • What is a step you can take to reach your desired outcome?
  • What are some ways you can address this challenge?
  • What resources are available to you?
  • What can I do to help you?

Problem-solving strategies are useful in any situation. When the mentoring relationship needs improvement, both mentor and mentee have the responsibility to have an open conversation regarding this.

Remember:

• Early intervention is important.
• Identify an appropriate space and time for discussion.
• Specify needs clearly.
• Be flexible in ways of handling the problem.
• Develop a solution that works for both the mentor and the mentee.
• Transparency on both sides is important.